Intercourse: Three Tableaux
May 15, 2010, 10:49 pm
Filed under: SARAH | Tags: , , ,


I was having a bad day. In the stairwell of my apartment building, an Uber-male with a broad smile and big swaggering thighs blocked my way.

“Come on, gorgeous,” he said. “Smile for me!”

Not for you.

“How dare you?” I said. “My father just died.”

The look on his face, like his erection had suffered a stroke—this made me smile.

So I said to him,  “Why the sad face? Smile for me!”

Imagine that, he couldn’t get it up.


I was biking not too fast. It was a cool morning, drizzling a bit.  I love this weather.

On the corner where I was about to make a left, a cop stood leaning against the door of his cruiser.

He called to me, “Be careful now!” As I turned the corner, I got a good look at his baby face. He wore a mask of paternal concern.

I called back in a husky voice, “Don’t worry. I’ve got a dick!”

The daddy face dropped and I pedaled away fast.



It is evening and men just off from work crowd the street. They stand on the sidewalk in huddles, bullshitting: “And I told that bitch…”

My shoulders tense as I walk past. A moment later I hear the wolf whistle, and then, (snicker). I look up and see faces hardened into leers, men who can’t distinguish sex from violence.

I don’t swing my ass with gratitude, a beggar. And I don’t lower my eyes and walk away like a slave. No. I turn on my heel, walk right up to the whistler, then rapidfire—One- Two- Three!—I whack his face with a stainless steel dildo. I pull this dildo from my inner jacket pocket, the same location where gentlemen conceal handguns. My pocket is large. My dildo is ridged for pleasure. It hits like a fist.

The best relationships are founded on an ethic of reciprocity. So I say, an eye for an eye, a dick for a dick. A penis, to be sure, is not the ultimate weapon. A penis by itself is not power. A penis is a thing. As is a dildo. You and I are free to wield these things at our discretion. Let us pretend, then, that we are adversarial squires from a long-ago era. You slap me with your dick. I slap you with mine. So we shall duel, sir! Meet you on the shooting field at the cock’s first crow.


1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

Oh I’ve enjoyed it all so much! Both of you! So different, but symmetry still!

An eye for an eye, a dick for a dick.

Comment by Sam

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: